Those of you who have remained loyal to this site for the past year or so will know all too well about the problems I`ve had with the so called Shower Doctor and his companion - The Tile Doctor.

In fact just two days ago we were driving around the OC and found a dentist called “The Smile Doctor".

Anyhow - I figure that if these guys can give themselves PhDs then I reckon I`m good for one too.

Step forward the Spin Doctor.

Unlike the previously mentioned quacks I reckon I deserve my doctoracte. I refer you to the following exhibits:

Lucky for all you that I travel back to Scotland in about 24 hours from now - I`ll show you all how its done!

The influx of people coming to visit me carried on with the past weekend being the turn of a former colleague who I used to work with back in Charleston South Carolina

On Friday we went off to explore one of my local towns - its called Hollywood - you may have heard of it

Then we went off to check out the http://www.tarpits.org/ LA Brea tar pits which is home to over 30 complete fossils.

After that we went off to do a bit of shopping in the famous Rodeo Drive area. I thought about buying this nice Alaskan Coral candle holder. A snip at 165,000 US Dollars.

Then yesterday we went off on a whale watching cruise - which kind of turned into a dolphin watching cruise because not a single whale turned up. Even so it was pretty amazing:

We were out until around 8pm and managed to get in some great sights.

Think I`ll print that picture off and bring it back to Edinburgh with me on Thursday to show people back home a picture of that hot orange orb that hangs in the sky over here.

It seems I`m starting to develop something of a reputation in my new gym here in California.

Of course back home people correctly recognise me as the greatest living thing in the gym and I am treated as a god.

Things here need to improve.

True, there are some who have already seen the light – my new nickname as “the Viking” is catching on amongst the more hard core of the disciples– I mean members.

But some are still to recognize me as their savior.

For example the other week I sat doing some amazing shoulder press next to a couple of guys. Part way through my set I heard one of them say – “quick lets get out of here before this guy starts working out with us – the last two guys who came with him didn’t come back – he must have abused them”

Now to be fair the two guys he was talking about did come to the gym with me for a few weeks and to be fair again they never came back – but I didn’t abuse them. They were just weeds who could not hack the pace.

Also yesterday I jumped onto the one remaining available cross trainer right in the middle of the bunch. I quite like it there because I can see what level everyone around me has their workout set to so I can pass comment such as “we are all wasting your time and money” or “come on crank it up, a snail could go faster than you – you big weed”.

But yesterday something happened that angered me.

The people working out either side of me threw their towels over the display of the cross trainer so I could not see what level they had it set to.

Then the people next to them did the same.

I think there is a message there somewhere……

I hate salad - salad is for weeds we are weak and worthless.

You dont make friends with salad.

I like to eat meat - I especially like meals where I am served with more than one type of meat at a time. So imagine how excited I was when I found out about the Amazon BBQ just down the road from me in the OC.

A look at their menu shows that they serve you with 13 different types of meat - all you can eat no less.

So the dudes bring round all the food and carve off as much for you as you want - they just keep coming. I tried a bit of everything - including the alligator.

It was like having an entire zoo in my stomach.

Yesterday I got back from my USA road trip. A mate of mine from back home went on a expedition around 3 states in 5 days taking in some amazing sights.

On Friday we headed off to Vegas - despite me only being there 4 weeks previous, and spent that night checking out the town - that is - gambling my money away.

Then Saturday the adventure really got started when we got a plane ride over the Hoover Dam and the Grand Canyon.

When we landed we got taken by coach to several points around the south rim which was amazing:

Then we headed back and the day after continued our journey through Death Valley National Park:

It was certainly an experience - we loaded up with about 7 gallons of water just in case - you could see why it was called Death Valley. We must have seen only 4 cars throughout the whole of Death Valley national park.

The highlight was getting to the hottest place on earth - the bottom of the valley itself:

Then on the same day we headed on up to Convict Lake which is just a couple of miles outside of Mammoth mountain. This was maybe the best part of the holiday - we stayed in a cabin with not a bad view:

The view from around the corner was even better:

The day after we continued the journey on through Yosemite National Park

A couple of miles before the start of the park:

The park was absolutely amazing - so many good pictures - but I think this shows the best. It was taken at a place called Glacier Point which is a 32 mile round trip which we nearly left off.

I`m very glad we didn’t.

Then we spent the last night in Oakhurst and headed back to LA the day after.

So there you go - 5 days - about 1000 miles, going from 242 feet below sea level to something close to 10,000 above sea level - 400 photographs and a massive increase in my personal carbon footprint later - what a week!

But I mean it this time - I really need a break - my bank manager says so