I know I said last time that I would update you all on my latest trip to California.

But I won’t

Because I`m far too excited for that.

Not because yesterday was Easter Sunday, and I still have boxes and boxes of chocolate lying about the place.

No.

I`m excited because today is not Easter Monday.

Its Whipping Monday!

And I`m very, very excited about it all.

I should explain. Recently I`ve spent much of my working day with a guy from the Czech Republic. He is a really top guy, clever, generous and like many people I`ve met from Eastern Europe, incredibly humble. Also like most people from Eastern Europe he is always very keen to share with others the traditions and customs of his home country. Normally this involves having a glass or a shot of the local beverage, or a slice of the local cheese.

Last week though, was very different.

My Czech colleague showed up unannounced at my office. …. beaming from ear to ear.

And gripping what can only be described as a massive rudimentary whip, fashioned from willow branches.

Apparently, its called a ‘pomlázka’.

The role of the weapon, I mean pomlázka goes something like this:

In the town when my colleague comes from, each ‘Whipping Monday’ men from the village go around each house in their neighbourhood, knocking on the doors of every home they see. Once someone comes to the door, you offer to ‘whip’ the women in house in exchange for beer. If you have a young male child, he is encouraged to come along with his dad to witness and learn the ‘tradition’ and also to sing carols in the background while his dad drinks the beer and whips the girls, which allegedly is supposed to ‘ bring health and youth to anyone who is thrashed with them’.

Astonishing.

I`m told that after you`ve had a good few free beers, the whippings can get a little more ….. harsh, shall we say

Thankfully, for me anyway, my colleague was not there to offer to whip me, but to give me my very own pomlázka, to get some whipping done come Whipping Monday.

And here we now are.

Strangely enough I was chatting to female Czech colleague the other day about this practise. She tells me that even these days she still has nightmares of when she was a child growing up in Czechoslovakia, where every Easter Monday she would be woken up by her father and younger brother bursting into her bedroom, pulling off her duvet and whipping her while drinking beer and singing carols.

Its just amazing, you couldn’t make this stuff up.

But now that I have my own pomlázka, and a female Czech colleague, I might go and pay her a visit in her office.

I`m not quite sure what the reaction will be from everyone else in the building, while I`m stood there in the doorway, whip in hand, demanding beer in exchange for giving a whipping, while the whole time 2 or 3 of my other colleagues stand in the background singing carols like Ding Dong Merrily on High, or perhaps just ‘Mr Bombastic’ by Shaggy.

Or maybe just something by ‘The Prodigy’

Who knows, but I have to say I`m bloody well looking forward to it all.

25 hours ago I was on a train heading out from Carlsbad in Southern California to LAX to catch a plane to travel back to Belgium. No more than 5 minutes ago I arrived back here in the apartment. The temperature when I left California was 23 degrees C.

Outside now in Belgium its exactly zero.

Also, I am completely shattered.

This is perhaps the shortest post I`ve ever done, but I`ve been awake now for nearly 30 hours and don’t have the energy to tell you all about all the fun things I`ve been up to over the last 3 weeks.

But I`ll do that tomorrow.

Promise.

Last month, I turned 33. It came as a bit of a surprise,

but not right away.

As with most of my birthdays, the implications and realisation of incrementing my age didn’t quite sink in until some time after the event itself. Possibly, because I can normally hardly remember the event itself - this year being absolutely no exception whatsoever - thanks to Ed leading me at the end of the night to “the Fishbowl".

But enough of that.

The first ‘vision’ I had of my growing age came the day after my birthday. Naturally, nursing a fairly nasty hangover, I brushed the cobwebs aside and made it to the gym and straight on to my favourite cross-trainer, after I removed the person who was on it before me.

Then I started to press the buttons.

Resistance,
Inclination,
Weight,
then age.

Ah - one less press on the ‘down’ button - One step closer to the default setting of 35.

Phase 1 of my realisation was complete.

Phase 2 came on shrove Tuesday. I was in the kitchen of the shared building where I cam currently living. Instead of having the room to myself, I was surrounded by ’students’ - actually, they are all interns, having all passed university and are trying to get a break into the ‘real world’. Kindly, two of them asked me to join in and have a pancake dinner with them all.

Which I did.

Forcing myself not to say something about the fact they were using the world’s smallest eggs to make the pancakes, presumably down to their poverty levels, I joined in the conversation.

Which I soon regretted.

Because the conversation quickly turned to University life, and University fees.

They went around the table, each taking turns to ‘brag’ / ‘complain’ about how much debt they were in due to their excessive tuition fees, and how many ice ages they would have to live through in order to pay them back.

Then focus shifted to the ‘older’ girl of the group Anna - who must be about 26.

One of them said - ‘well what about you Anna? You must have no debt - university was free when you went to University’.

Anna could barely contain herself, but blurted out in a cackle - ‘ha ha - no - I`m not THAT old!!!’.

My silence was deafening - and I felt all eyes fall on me. Of course, I was THAT old - in fact the year I went to university was the final year that fees were paid for my the government.

Phase 2 complete.

And phase 3 came only today.

I caught a glimpse on the New Horizons Website. New Horizons is a NASA spacecraft, which is currently hurtling its way towards the (Dwarf) Planet Pluto.

The article reminded me of its launch day back in 2006. That day was the date that New Horizons launched off on its mission, 19th January 2006 - just two days before my 27th birthday. In fact, it was one of my first posts

I remember watching that spacecraft taking off live on TV, knowing that on that craft there was a CD containing a digital representation of the names of each of my parents, my pet dog Dustie, and myself, and I clearly remember thinking:

“When that craft gets to Pluto, I will officially be old".

Since then slightly over 2232 days have passed.

and slightly more than 1137 days remain.

Phase 3 complete.

I am 1137 days to being officially old.

But I`ll tell you what.

In 1137 days time, I`ll still be getting to that same cross trainer in the gym the day after my birthday.

And still be mashing it up more than anyone else there.

So I`m not old …. yet.