Very recently I celebrated my first anniversary of living in Belgium. Well, celebrated might not be the right word. I became vaguely aware of the special date while complaining to a colleague about the terrible summer weather we are having at present and comparing it to the blazing temperatures we enjoyed this time last year …… wow really ….. this time last year.

That was about as far as the celebrating went.

Actually, thats not the whole truth.

Because I marked the occasion (without actually realising it) by buying myself a TV.

Yes, I have been living here for over a year without a TV, something which seems to confuse most people. I never really needed one you see, but one day I just woke up and decided I needed one - I`m changeable like that, which is one of the reasons why I`m so fascinating.

So I bought the biggest and best TV I could find. A 46inch 3D LED TV from Samsung.

And I have to say I am very impressed.

It even has a real time 2D to 3D engine built in to convert regular 2D input from DVDs and TV signals into 3D output.

Although I suspect that my TV is a step up from 3D - I think mine is 4D!

Because the other day when I was watching a programme and water appeared to shoot out from the screen - I actually felt it fall on my head.

Amazing.

Then it happened again.

and again.

Even when there was no water on the TV screen.

Uh oh.

Yes indeed - during the heaviest rain storm of the year so far my roof developed a leak.

The real problem was communicating this to my landlord, over the phone, who only speaks French.

Sadly, as yet some of my French pronunciatoin is not quite on the nail.

Instead of saying “J`ai un fuit du toit” - “I`ve got a leaking roof", I said “J`ai un fruit du toit” - which sounds very similar, unfortunately though this means “I have fruit hanging from my roof".

The silence on the phone was deafening.

This guy must have thought I had bananas growing through the ceiling.

But anyway he said he would come around and fix it.

It`ll be interesting to see if he brings spare roof tiles or some ice cream to make a banana split.

I love red wine. I have something close to 100 bottles in my wine racks downstairs. I like wines of all kinds; I love wines from the Rhone region such as Gigondas, Chateauneuf du pape, St Joseph, Hermitage as they are made mostly from Syrah or Grenache grapes. I`m also happy with a bottle from any of the Bordeaux regions which are made up of a blend of 1 or more of the 6 ‘Bordeaux ‘ grapes (Cabernet Sauvignon, Cabernet Franc, Merlot, Petit Verdot, Malbec and Carménère) …. although I`d never ever drink a bottle of pure Merlot. I love Italian wine whether it be a Sangiovese based Chianti or the amazing Amarone. And of course there is nothing like a good rich Californian Zinfandel.

I love pretty much everything.

Apart from ANY white wine.

Quite frankly I just don’t see the point. You might as well be drinking grape juice.

Which leaves me with something of a problem when the weather is as hot as its been over the past month or so. A nice cool glass of wine, on the balcony overlooking the pond would be amazing. But red wine is supposed to be ‘warm’.

Or so I thought until last Friday.

In my usual wine store chatting with the local wine supplier. I told him my problem. He thought about it for a moment then asked me a question:

“What are the 3 grapes used in Champagne?”

I replied immediately: “Pinot Noir, Pinot Meunier and Chardonnay". - I took a moment to mentally congratulate myself.

“And what temperature do you serve Champagne?”

“Chilled!” I beamed, delighted.

……………

Then it hit me.

Pinot Noir and Pinot Meunier although black skinned are used in Champagne because they have a white juice, but when using them to make wine the tannins turn the juice into a red wine.

The wine supplier continued. “So why don’t you chill a bottle of Pinot Noir and see how that tastes".

After thinking about it and still being slightly reluctant I`ve decided to give it a try.

All I need now is a cheap bottle of Pinot Noir.

Of course I don’t buy cheap wine.

Luckily however, my dad does.

And he left a bottle of Pinot Noir here last time.

So its going straight into my fridge.

Then down the drain if it turns out as badly as I suspect it might.

Slowly I`ll start catching up on things I`ve done over the past few months … promise.

Last weekend was the annual Les feux de St Jean here in Mons. I had no idea what it was all about, even when I arrived, just some guy from work told me that there would be ‘a parade in town on Saturday to burn Joan of Arc’, yes indeed that is exactly what he told me. I was a little sceptical, but thought as it was going to be a nice day I`m go along to the town centre anyway/

Starting out with a couple of beers in the Grand Place we headed for a nice meal in the always excellent la table du boucher.

Then the festivities began. After some research I discovered that les feux de st jean (The fires of St Jean) is a Catalan festival which kind of made sense from the giant tent things:

Then people came around selling torches that were giant candles.

By this point there must have been well over a thousand perhaps several thousand people in the town centre all walking down the main street with their burning torches. It was like a ancient witch hunt, particularly after the torches had burned for long enough for them to resemble burning crosses.

Finally after walking a good mile or so we ended up at the end of the parade where there was a giant bonfire which people were encouraged to throw their torches into.

It was a full party atmosphere with beer tents all around and the place was still bustling with people getting on to midnight when we had to leave as getting a taxi in Mons is nearly impossible late at night.

On the way home I thought about how a parade like that with thousands of people holding burning torches in a confined space and people dressed as giant tents in the middle of it all after everyone had had a good dozen strong beers would never ever be allowed in America. You`d have to use flashlight torches, or have 2 or 3 people with regular sized candles at the front of the parade just as a symbolic gesture. As for the giant bonfire, you would not be allowed 500 feet from it.

I doubt you`d even be allowed it in the UK.

Perhaps only in Belgium.

Sunday was much quieter - I cant really remember what I did, I have a vague memory of watching a horror film involving 11 Germans and 11 Englishmen, but that was HORRIBLE and surely on a terrible nightmare.

Surely!